


the way things are made

by i_was_human



Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Introspection, M/M, Religion, Religious Guilt, no beta we men die like, religious preaching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:28:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29360277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: "...the rest of the church is humming along, and Daehyun doesn't know what to believe - what the bible says, or what he's always been taught?'You don't have to believe it,' Dongho murmurs, leaving the "just yet" hanging in the air. 'Just something to think about.'"
Relationships: Kang Dongho | D.Min & Kim Daehyun, Kim Daehyun/Minseok (Lost in Translation)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	the way things are made

Daehyun's always been devout.

That's not- not even subjective. It's _fact_.

He's a part of his church's youth group, part of the choir, one of the altar boys for Sunday service - he is _devout_. He tries his best to stick to God's rules, tries his best to be a good person, and he's _really, really trying_.

So why is he being punished like this?

Because the fact is this: no matter how much time he spends at youth group, no matter how much time he spends at the choir or helping Father Choi with services - he is _still going to hell_.

After all, the bible says he can't love a boy.

And _fuck_ , despite his best efforts, there's _no way he can stop it_.

Because it's Minseok.

It's Minseok, and Minseok always comes to see him while he's busking and brings him a snack and a drink, and he sits next to him for a bit and makes him laugh, and every time he smiles, the butterflies in Daehyun's chest burst to life-

and that's _wrong_.

That's wrong, because Minseok's a boy, and Daehyun's a boy, and he should- he should like _Minyoung_ instead, because she's a girl and she makes him smile, but he likes Minseok instead, and-

why?

It's- it's _wrong_. It's _wrong_ , and Daehyun has no idea how to fix this.

His groupmates are no help, either.

Minsoo's _aggressively_ atheist, avoiding organized religion like the plague, and Dongho _might_ be Christian, but Daehyun's never seen him at services, so he really isn't sure.

The end result is this: _Daehyun is a sinner_.

Daehyun is a sinner, and the others don't get that, and that's- that's fine! They're not like him, they can't understand, but Daehyun _knows_ he's wrong, _knows_ he's broken, _knows_ he's wrong to the core, and he can't tell them, because they don't understand, and that-

 _that_ gnaws at him. 

This _all_ gnaws at him, and no matter how much he helps and begs and prays, nothing changes.

He's still wrong.

He's still a horrible, sick, disgusting sinner.

So he starts skipping busking days, using the free time to go to church. He takes longer to respond to Minseok's messages, stops messaging him first, and waits for the butterflies to go away.

They don't.

(and that, more than anything else, scares him.)

* * *

He's packing up after practice when someone taps the wall, and he raises his head, gaze landing on Dongho.

Ah.

"Hyung...?" Daehyun ventures, and Dongho folds his arms over his chest, expression carefully blank. 

"You're upset."

It's not a question.

"Hyung," Daehyun laughs, "I need to go home. My mom's making dinner-"

"You've been upset for a while," Dongho continues, ignoring him entirely. "And you won't tell either me or Minsoo what's wrong, so I can only assume it's something with the church."

He's not-

wrong.

"It's not a problem with the church," Daehyun lies, and Dongho's brow quirks up in disbelief.

"Mhm. And you're not upset on Thursdays after youth group. And you're not skipping busking days to go to church more."

"I-"

"I know what guilt looks like."

Daehyun withers at that, one hand snaking down to grasp the straps of his backpack. "It's... it's complicated, hyung."

"Then explain it."

"You won't understand."

"How can you know that if you won't even tell me what's wrong?"

"Because you're _not like me_!"

Dongho falls silent at that, and Daehyun's grip tightens around the straps of his bag, eyes burning with unshed tears. "You're not like me, hyung, so stop- stop pretending like you can understand. You _can't_. And- and that's okay! That's okay, 'cause I know- I know what's wrong, and I don't need someone to tell me it's not, and it's- it's okay! I just have to try harder."

Dongho stares at him for a moment, sharp eyes narrowing further, and he sighs, reaching out to grasp Daehyun's wrist. "Come with me."

"Wh- where? I have dinner-"

"I'll call your mom," Dongho easily replies, tugging Daehyun out of the practice room. "There's somewhere I want to take you."

* * *

"Where are we going?" Daehyun asks for the umpteenth time, and Dongho simply shakes his head.

"You'll see when we get there."

"You said that last time."

"And my answer's not changing."

" _Hyung_ -"

"Ah, Dongho-yah!" 

Daehyun turns, gaze landing on a bubblegum-haired man, and _wow_ , he's pretty. He's _idol-pretty_ , really, the kind Daehyun aspires to be.

"Minsung-ah," Dongho greets, a faint smile on his lips. "It's nice to see you again."

"It's been a while," Minsung grins, delight evident on his face. "How've you been doing?"

"Alright," Dongho easily replies, reaching over to rest his hand on Daehyun's shoulder. "This is my dongsaeng, Kim Daehyun."

"It's nice to meet you!" Minsung beams, reaching out to grasp Daehyun's hands. "I'm Lee Minsung. What brings you here?"

"He realized he's gay," Dongho bluntly states, and Daehyun chokes on his spit.

"Wh- hyung- 'm not-"

"When you talk about your friend, you have _googly-eyes_ ," Dongho states, and Daehyun withers at that. 

Like he needs a reminder that he's hopelessly in love with Minseok. 

"No tact," Minsung teases, gesturing to the building in front of them. "Service is just starting - do you want to join us?"

"It's why I brought him here," Dongho blandly replies, and Minsung nods, gesturing to the wooden edifice.

"Alright, then. Go get some good seats."

Dongho nods, tugging Daehyun into the church, and _wow_.

Daehyun _gawps_ at the rainbow flag next to the pulpit, gaze flitting around the room as a sort of _fear_ washes over him. There's- there's a lesbian couple, there's someone whose gender he can't tell, there's-

"It's a church for everyone," Dongho murmurs, tugging Daehyun into a seat in the back. 

"I don't... I don't understand," Daehyun helplessly replies, and Dongho's lips quirk into a half-smile.

"You will."

As if in response, the pastor steps up to the pulpit, and they go through the motions of opening prayer and a few hymns. The entire time, Daehyun's mind is stuck whirling - this is _exactly like his church_ , except for the rainbow flags up around - and he has _genuinely no idea what that means_.

"For any new arrivals," the pastor states, stepping off the raised dais and moving into the aisle, "all we have to say is that you are loved, just the way you are. God loves you just the way you are, because He made everyone in _His_ image. If there's anything you can't change - whether it's who you are, who you love, or anything else - remember that He made you that way, and that there's nothing to be ashamed of."

Daehyun...

doesn't know if he can believe it.

But the rest of the church is humming along, and Daehyun doesn't know what to believe - what the bible says, or what he's always been taught?

"You don't have to believe it," Dongho murmurs, leaving the _"just yet"_ hanging in the air. "Just something to think about."

And, well-

there are worse things to think about, Daehyun supposes. 

**Author's Note:**

> i could not rESIST THAT BACKGROUND DONGSUNG HUH
> 
> also this was inspired by the fact that jae puts bible quotes in every day6 album so my thought process was
> 
> jae is christian --> dae is christian --> dae having to deal with church homophobia would be a poggers plotline
> 
> this was supposed to be longer but what're you gonna do
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


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